As one may be able to guess, this posting was inspired by my future mother-in- law. Has anyone ever seen Monster In Law? It is a well put together movie about a couple who is very much in love, and a mother in law who is itching to sabotage the relationship and drive the poor girl mad. I am not here to write movie reviews, I am here to accomplish three things.
1. To let people know they are not alone when it comes to thinking, "Can someone really be that inconsiderate and rude? Does empathy and desire to add positivity to the human experience not exist?"
2. To not feel so alone as I am hoping others will share with me their experience, strengths, and hopes (yes, AA reference, but the situation is just as serious!) on how they were able to calm themselves in a time of reigning hell. And lastly...
3. To get this off of my chest.
My mother in law married a man a month younger than her son and decided to move to Mexico. About a year later she sends me a facebook message at 10pm stating that she has left her husband (in Mexico) and is about an hour and a half away from where we are. I asked if she knew where she would be staying, to which she replied, with her sister come November. That is fine, but it is mid October and she is an hour and a half away from us. I asked her where she would be staying until November to which she replied, she has friends that she can stay with; none of them had been contacted, she told no one what was going on - but she was staying with friends. The next morning, while I was at school, she showed up to the house. Upon returning home, we all spent time together and she brought in clothes for a shower, which turned in to the evening and her taking the guest room. OK. So she is going to spend a night and then contact her friends. Wrong.
I asked my fiance about her mentioning where she would be staying and he said, "Well, I guess she will be staying with us." All of her things were moved in to the guest bedroom and my bathroom by morning. I have several issues with this besides the fact that no one ever asked or talked about. Not just asked or talked to me, but never asked if it was ok. I would have had no problem saying it was fine had she even asked. Disrespected in my own house. Now I am pissed.
My father and his girlfriend had planned on visiting us the week of Halloween, expecting to stay in the guest bedroom, have family time and dinner and go out on the town as his girlfriend has never visited. Nope. They have officially been moved into the computer room on the old futon we have to fill space. It is uncomfortable and old, and now because we have an unexpected guest who moved herself in without question, because she decided she didn't like her husbands child and did nothing to save for herself, work, plan, nothing - MY family has to be uncomfortable. They planned this trip, they asked if they could stay with us, they did things the respectable way. Let's punish them.
My father and his girlfriend are both "Italian." They do not stand for anyone making them feel uncomfortable or stupidity. They will not like being around my mother in law and I sense a disaster at its finest. My father wanted to take my fiance out, just the guys, so he could get to know him more. I don't think that is going to happen anymore. Sitting down for a family dinner that my dad's girlfriend cooks... I can already see the disapproving comments coming out of my mother in laws mouth. She is one of those people..she acts so innocent when making them; it makes me want to hurl. She doesn't care about anyone but herself. I watched my fiance show her something he was excited about and she blew him off, like it's stupid that you think that is impressive. She walked into the room last night and asked if we knew what time it was.... she had her laptop on in "her" room. If you want to talk, say something. If you want attention, ask to do something. Don't play games. I hate games.
I am not one for hiding my emotions and being a fake person. When I feel something extremely wrong has happened or been done, I will either say something or hide it on my face with bright blinking lights that say "I THINK YOU ARE AN ASS" - I don't like being uncomfortable in my own home and I don't like that no one in the house sees anything wrong with this situation. I can't necessarily speak up about anything because then I will be the hell beast that is picking on his poor mother. I don't understand people's thought process. I don't like inconsiderate, rude people who assume that because someone feels bad for you, they can barge in to your life and disrupt everything.
Also, I don't feel bad for her, not when she is acting like this. Again! Had she asked or informed someone of a brief life change, it would have been better. But, because she didn't my thoughts are .... Who's fault is it that you didn't have a job and save money if you wanted to leave him? YOU LEFT HIM BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE HIS CHILD!! He didn't hit her in the face and call her names deeming it an urgent thing to leave, she just couldn't stand the kid. You didn't plan, you didn't save and you didn't ask; so as far as I'm concerned you disrespected me and my life and I have zero sympathy for you.
When I feel bad for feeling this way, I think about the last few days, what just happened and know that this isn't how people are supposed to act and do things, and that she is smart enough to know this. My remorse and empathy is non existent and all I want to do is be out of my own house.
